I think it’s worth taking a step back in our grief journeys as we encounter the holidays.  We need to put them in perspective.

So much of the original intent behind holiday celebrations seems to get lost in our high-speed lives. The holidays get commercialized and distorted to other ends. It’s easy to lose sight of the essence. I suspect that one of the things that makes the holidays difficult for many grievers is the awareness of the triviality of much of what we currently force into our celebrations of them.

In profound grief, we come to question long held beliefs and traditions – especially those relating to our spiritual lives. Suffering traumatic loss often leads us to confront and rethink our basic beliefs about death, the afterlife, religion, and God (or whatever designation you use for your higher power). These deeply spiritual questions may overwhelm us at times, but they also present a path forward.

Traumatic loss forces us to confront spiritual questions that we may have been avoiding or simply too busy to confront. To move forward, we must address questions that get to the very heart and meaning of life: Who am I (now)? Why am I here?  What is my purpose?

Grief over traumatic loss is often complicated. Your suffering over the loss of your loved one may be compounded by the loss of your connection with God.

Remember why the holidays can be so painful.  

Remember the special place the holidays held for those we’ve loved and lost.  The pain you feel is a precise measure of the love behind it.

My wish for you all this holiday season is that you find some measure of peace, clarity about the deeper meanings behind the season, and that you are able to invite those you’ve loved and lost into your celebrations.