The holidays are tough for those of us who are grieving the loss of someone dear to us. We learn from our clients at EricsHouse that each person experiences loss in their own unique way. While over time, we learn to integrate our loss in authentic and healthy ways, we also understand that our grief remains an integral part of our life experiences. Over time, as we begin to heal, we also know that grief is wildly different during the holiday season. This season can be very challenging when the last thing we feel like doing is celebrating a new season.

Our holiday support group suggests considering your “Plan A” and “Plan B.” This includes reflecting upon your holiday values. Think about what is important to you. What traditions do you hold dear? What fears might you be carrying into the season? What activities do you feel you can do, and what do you know you cannot do? With whom would you like to spend your time? All these questions help you create some structure and understanding.

Here are some other thoughts that may help:

1. Be present with whatever you may be feeling. Allow yourself to grieve. Whether you feel sadness and sorrow or happiness and joy, remember that all these complex emotions can exist together. It is essential to allow yourself to feel so that you can heal.

2. Remind yourself that things will be different. Things are different because your loved one is not physically present. Your “Plan A” will enable you to honor some traditions and exclude some activities you are uncomfortable with.

3. Accept help from others. You may need help with the shopping or the cooking, or you may need someone to sit and be in the quiet zone with you. Whatever it may be, allow yourself to ask for help. Those close to you often look for ways to support you in your grief.

4. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Share your plans with family and friends and let them know about changes in holiday routines. If you find comfort in memories, share stories with your family and friends or look through photos together.

5. Do things that give you comfort. Most importantly, you should take good care of yourself. Take a walk in nature, do journaling, make your loved one’s favorite desert, do something to honor the memory of your loved one. The emotional weight of missing a loved one may intensify as familiar holiday traditions. It’s important to recognize that grief doesn’t take a break for the holidays, and those who are mourning may need space to grieve, adjust traditions, or find meaningful ways to honor the memory of their loved one. This holiday season allows you to acknowledge your grief while seeking support, understanding, and self-compassion. And remember that the adage “time heals all wounds” does not always apply to our grief, but it does matter what we do with our time. Give yourself time to heal by finding those things that give you comfort as you navigate your way through this season.